People grow and change, that’s inevitable. But the core of who they are usually remains the same. If you go into a relationship looking to change the person to fit your idea of who they should be, then you’re setting the dynamic up for failure.
You shouldn’t be with someone because of their potential. You should be with them because you accept and love them for who they are when you meet them, not who you think you can make them become.
It’s okay to encourage and give people the room and tools to grow. But if you’re trying to groom someone with harsh manipulation and not through love and acceptance, than that’s going to hurt you both in the end.
People are not projects and you shouldn’t go into a relationship holding a tool box looking for something to fix. You should go into it seeing if you both can find out who each other are and love each other because of that knowledge.