- Submission is not agreeing on everything.
Submission does not mean you must agree with the opinions of your Dom , even on things as fundamental. You have to think. You are a person, not a body and not a machine. You’re a thinking being who is able to process whether the gospel is true.
- Submission does not mean leaving your brain at the Relationship.
Now, maybe this is the same point, but it needs to be said this way, too.
Submission never leaves the brain at the the relationship. All throughout the relationship , a Dom is reckoning with an independent mental center that has thoughts that are worth listening to. It’s the working out of a one-flesh union.
Leadership does not mean you do not listen. Leadership doesn’t even mean always getting the last word. Good leadership often says, “You were right; I was wrong.”
Leadership is taking initiative. Sometimes I say, “Who says, ‘Let’s . . . ,’” more often in your relationship?
“Let’s go out to eat.”
“Let’s try to get our finances in order.”
“Let’s get to party on time next Friday.”
Who says it most often? If it’s the sub, you have a problem, and the problem is with the guy. If it’s the guy, she’s probably happy because she doesn’t want to be the one to say “let’s” over and over again.
Woman don’t want to say “let’s” most often. In general — I know I’m generalizing — leadership means a bent toward initiative under which women thrive. Not dictation, never listening. Not even having the last word. I don’t need to be right, or to have my way, or to have the last word.
- Submission does not mean you do not try to influence your Dominant.
Submission does not mean avoiding the effort to influence or change the him. The whole point of the text is, “Win him.”
If he wins you win..
- Submission does not mean getting all of her spiritual strength through her Dom.
Submission does not mean getting all of her spiritual strength through her Dom. He’s not giving her any spiritual strength in this text and she’s got lots of it. Her hope is in Herself.
She’s probably up in the morning before he gets up, getting her strength elsewhere, getting her worldview elsewhere.
- Submission does not mean living or acting in fear.
I believe that men are called to a unique kind of leadership in relationships. I believe that women are called to a unique kind of submission in relationships. And I think it’s a beautiful thing — the way those two roles complement and serve one another.
Therefore, in light of everything I have said submission is not, I would define submission in relationships like this: Submission is the defined calling of woman to honor and affirm her Dominant leadership, and so help to carry it through according to her gifts.