She’s naked, exposed, her breathing heavy, her heart pounding and her eyes closed. Yes, she’s sexy and beautiful kneeling before me for the first time But more than that, she’s fragile. Years of an ex husband who didn’t know the first thing about how to build her up has taken it’s toll, it’s scars run deep. His only tactic was to tear her down. It eroded the relationship, her self esteem and her distorted body image. He was a hurricane against her delicate shore and I had lots of rebuilding to do.
She often wore clothes much too big. Kept her head low and her eyes to the ground. She was like a turtle at times trying to hide away inside the safety of her shell. If she could just go unnoticed through a day, she would breath a sigh of relief. Depression draped over her like a freshly purchased scarf.
When I looked at her, I didn’t see her blemishes, her supposedly eveindent flaws, I saw beauty. Not just because her physical presence spoke with a refined elegance, but because she was so much more than her physical frame. Yes her skin tone was delectable, but the way her vocal tone could slice through my attention and hold onto it, was hypnotic. Yes, her body spoke to my sexual senses, but her soft, gentle soul, spoke to the very core of my being. She was more than her weight, more than her posture or shape of her eyes. She was beautiful because she couldn’t be anything else.
So, we are back to the moment where she is now naked and kneeling before me for the first time. I walk around her, examining the totality of her captivating beauty. I breath it in like the sweetest scent. I gently lean close to her bowed head and speak into her ear. “You are truly a beautiful woman and I’m going to love on you as such.” Her body was slightly trembling from her intense anticipation. But when those words hit her, she let go of the doubt that had been permeating before this intimate moment. She was unsure how I would feel when she undressed for the first time. But when the word beautiful touched her with such a tone of honesty, she could do nothing but cry tears of grateful joy.
I kiss her tears and take her hand so she can stand up. I take her in my hands, with one of them upon her throat and she wears it like her favorite necklace and I kiss her passionately and with great purpose. I know I’m not always going to be able to convince her of her beauty, but as part of taking this journey with her, I will forever try.