Notes On Conducting Impact Play for Beginners
This posting is how I set the scene and carry out impact play for new submissive masochists. The idea is to give them experience, to encourage, and to reassure them. You should note that I don’t use a punishment dynamic with my submissives. I hit them and cause them pain because I’m a sadist and I enjoy it, they consent to my inflicting pain upon them because they find it fulfils a need they have.
Informed consent is the sine qua non of ethical SM. If the two of you don’t already know where it it is NOT safe to strike you shouldn’t be doing this. The old adage of “ignorance is no excuse” is tailor made for BDSM. If you don’t know, scroll down to the “Resources” section of this document and go and inform yourself.
There are three things I do, particularly if it is early in our relationship to help set the scene and get them in a receptive frame of mind. At each of these three steps they have the opportunity to withdraw consent or ask for clarification:
I start by running over with my submissive what I am going to do to them. I touch where the blows will land – I make sure they know that I will NOT hit them anywhere likely to cause damage. Typically I do that by running my hand over the “forbidden zone”.
I confirm the number of times I am going to hit them.
I show them the instrument¹ with which I am going to hit them.
Once the preliminaries are concluded I make sure that the submissive is in position.²
I wait until the submissive says:
Saying this confirms that the submissive is ready, and helps get them further in the mood by reconfirming their consent. With each blow, the submissive counts the stroke as follows:
“One Sir, two Sir, three Sir” etc.
Counting in this way helps me pace the strokes – I won’t deliver the next until the current one has been counted, hearing the submissive’s voice will give me a little more insight into their physical and emotional state.
I will often encourage the submissive by telling them how many blows are left and praising them saying things such as :
“Three to go.”
“You’re doing great”
“You’re doing great, three more to go”
Ending and Aftercare
After I have hit them for the last time the submissive is required to say “thank you Sir” and remain in position until I give them permission to rise. I prefer to extend my hand to them and if they grasp my hand to help them to rise.
This is now time to administer aftercare if they need it. Very often beginners do need it. Very often beginner submissives need help to relax, to process what they’ve just experienced, to come down and return to “normalcy”. Nor, for me, does it end there. I will always check with them the day after and again after that how they’re doing.
If you’re not prepared to give them the chance to find out whether they need aftercare or not then, as far as I’m concerned, you shouldn’t be be doing anything with beginners.
Notes & Reources:
1. For present purposes hands and feet both come under the heading of “instrument”
2. This may or may not include binding them or fastening them to a piece of furniture.