The thing about taking any type of leadership position, be it in a company, relationship or a dynamic is to understand what you’ll be judged by and what will motivate someone to respect you, follow you or in the world of a D/s relationship, submit to you. The thing to remember is, it all comes down to character.

You can try to lead by force or intimidation and some have even found success by doing so. But even in those few instances, the success is either short term or plays into their demise or its riddled with chaos or all of the above. There is something to be said about someone who can command a room, motivate those who follow them and even instill a little bit of fear into those who work or serve underneath them. But when you try to rule with just an iron fist, that grip will breed as much resistance as it will obedience. A wise leader knows that to get someone to fall in line with your vision is to have those who serve you, help shape and be a part of that vision that will lead you both. They must be invested if you expect them to want to protect their investment.

A Dom who’s actions only serve their own interest will find themselves breaking the spirit of their submissive in ways that will cause any respect the submissive had for them to erode away. To lead is to take someone on a journey. But as much as you may want to force someone to get to the destination of your choosing, you have to make that journey something they want to embark on or else they’re never going to follow you to where you want to go.

The way you treat the journey and more importantly, those you’re responsible for on it, will speak more about your character than how many people you can force to do your bidding.

A great leader is not judged by the power they hold. They are judged by how they wield that said power. Understand the difference, and you’ve taken your first step in leadership.